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Less SoMe Worries, more Blogs and Action




Are there any other Return to Work Mothers who add worries to worries?

Here I am trying to get my head ‘round whether this concept is going to work and I realise it’s all been one long concept of worrying from – well, pre-conception!

Will it happen? It’s happened – am I ready? I’m in labour – am I able? Sh*t! What do I do now? Am I the drabbest Mum in the world? Who am I? Is it wrong if I want to go back to work? Who the hell would want me to work for them? How/what/where/when ….

Do you relate to the picture?

The long and short of it is, I suppose, I can procrastinate as many times as I want …. but it doesn’t get things done, achieved, launched – whatever!

Without the first, well, you know – I wouldn’t be a mum, without every first along the journey back to work, I wouldn’t be a return to work mum. So for all of the folic acid, nursery décor, frayed nerves and re-inventions I’ve had, I’ve just had to launch.

And, as the inspirational Seth Godin says: Not even once?

No. Eight times today. Just short of £1k views (thank you so much) and 1 comment, from my sis.

Please do tell me … is there anyone out there who feels the same as this - today, yesterday, this week?




thanks to cesitarvg and diryan5 (via photobucket) for the perficpics




How was it for you?





Frequent long car journeys to Norfolk have given a different perspective on the ‘are we nearly there yet’ landscape-cruising. Invariably, due to differing musical tastes, this has resulted in listening to radio programmes I didn’t know existed.

Fed up with musical theatre and sport, the opportunities to be ‘educated’ with various genres of obscure information, included an interview with Danny Wallace. Described as a Journalist, Author, Script-writer and Producer, I inwardly groaned and thought ‘should promoter of recent publication be added to the list?’ Yup, that was exactly what he was doing - Charlotte Street was the tome in question.

Not a bad book. Good for holiday reading for long-suffering- hubby (LSH), moi and youngest Giant in fact. What can I say? It was either a good book or, a holiday that was short on reading material!

Promotion over, the interviewer, with obvious adulation, side-stepped at a tangent and raised the issue of Danny’s random acts of kindness. Danny will explain it better than I can: rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb

Impressed?

 I was.



The Random Act of Kindness Day is, officially, Friday. Personally, I still have a shy reticence in taking the giant karma army step. But tomorrow, Friday, I am going to smile and say hello to strangers. Will that count as a random act of kindness, do you think? Will you join me and see what happens when you greet a stranger too?

I will report back in my To Start the Week blog, how many ‘greets’ and how I felt about the result/s – and I will ask you the question …. ‘How was it for you?’


thanks to alaskaredsfan99 (via photobucket) for the perficpic

A new life, with waterproof mascara




‘Is it busy in there?’ She asked.

My fault, I’d smiled at her and that proved encouragement enough for her to ask me the question.

This proved to be the most significant conversation of the week, however. Following my response, my swimming pool update of ‘not too bad now’, she blurted out that it was the first time she had been swimming without her children. What, ever? Did she never go in a pool before she had children? And she said she was scared of not being able to swim - being jumped on or splashed.

And then I saw it, the panic in her eyes. I realised she was going through a From this ... to that ...to this moment – but she was at a much earlier stage than I was in last Friday’s blog. She was at the point where your children have gone ‘to big school’ and she felt lost, forcing herself into a new without-them-during-school-time life.

If you're lucky, you have a bit more time to do something for yourself. Hard if you’re in paid employment (all mother’s work. Stay at home = unpaid employment!). But around all that you have to get done during day, you might be able to grab an opportunity.

My to that stage coincided with a ‘landmark’ birthday and I made full use of this reason and grabbed the opportunity to schedule in some regular exercise. No, I am not normally so virtuous. All the usual things followed – toned up, invigorated and it's not too expensive, if you can grab a deal (about £2 a pop). The hardest thing is maintaining the commitment and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea; but if you fancy checking it out, here’s the link to Poolfinder – which may provide a bit of inspiration.

And what happened to the Mum who was about to jump into her own path to independence? She just locked her locker and slowly walked towards the pool, with hunched shoulders. I still wish I’d called after her 'your mascara, is it waterproof?' Because it certainly made her eyes look amazing before she went into the water.
 




And it might have made her feel a little bit better.



thanks to stanrar and olivialivy (via photobucket) for the perfickpic

Random link of the week: Nivea v Crème de la Mer (hope it's useful)










From this ... to that ... to this

September can be a time of heightened emotions for many Return to Work Mothers. As your child grows older, you might find yourself booking time off to watch them taking certain first milestones.
Last weekend was another of our parental experience firsts.
We’ve done the first smile
©carriekitkat

The decision is easy, it’s the logistics that are the hurdle



Whatever the reason we decide to return to work, it’s not an easy start out of the blocks. Google for help and you have pages of what to do to get back to work - CV’s, Action plans, skills and qualification records, etc. But that isn’t the start of it for returning mothers.

When I made my decision I was very lucky to find a (free) Government funded course. This Women Returner’s Course ‘got’ the fact that returning parents need more ‘behind the scenes help’ than the usual job seekers might. Unfortunately, these free courses are now conspicuous by their absence (believe me, I’ve tried to find something for you) but you might like to consider trying a start with the following, while having a well-earned cuppa:

- Write down the skills you have and the challenges you have overcome

- Research Self Esteem and Personal Development on the web

- Most important, write down how you will cover the child care issues – including when they are sick and during school holidays

- Work out an action plan that provides a starting schedule of events - when will the cleaning get done, shopping, homework, etc. etc. And, by whom?

When I completed these tasks, they got my thought processes started. They were completed as a formal exercise and really got me fired up to go. I'd really recommend it.

I have found this Guardian article, from October 2012. I think it has some useful tips and links. One of which is to the Women like Us website, which you might find of interest and I am sure I will speak of in a later blog.

Finally, the National Careers Service link, to add their view – hope it gives food for thought. My thoughts? Well, opening with a statement that returning to work after having children, is an important decision and big step, the words negative, faeces and Sherlock came to my mind!


thanks to thchambers54 (via photobucket) for the perfickpic

The Good, the Fab and the Ugly (?) Grown up day

As part of my on-going strategy, I thought I’d start each week with the imaginatively titled - To start the week blog. The idea being that these posts could be useful as inspiration, information or something just take your mind off the Monday morning ‘bag, books, shoes?’/sleepless nights (oh how am I going to cope after maternity leave)/please don’t develop Cirrhosis at Uni  debacles.

Part II: The Journey re-commences




I went skydiving.

Admittedly, it was indoors, so it wasn’t such a stretch on my acrophobia. Nevertheless, it was one of those moments where I thought ‘why am I doing this?’

It was my fault. In the run up to Xmas, the deal on a discount website had enticed me into believing it would be a great stocking filler and family bonding experience. A chance to whip away the teenage status and angst rug - to experience something new (and exciting) together.

It was fun! I loved it – we all did! It made me ‘scream like a girl’. Not out of fright but with pleasure and enjoyment of the WOW moment.

Reflecting, whilst listening to the excited post ‘jump’ chatter, from the back of the car, I couldn’t help but compare my thoughts to the ones I’ve been feeling about my Return to work Mother venture. The uncertainty of taking this leap into a new venture feels very similar to how I felt as I waited on the precipice of the vertical wind tunnel, waiting to fall and hoping I would be caught and manoeuvred into shape.

But ain’t that just how we feel when we are about to become Return to work Mothers?










Genesis






In the beginning there was …. a return to work mother – with all the insecurities, doubts and fears that that entails.

At least, I know that now!

Before children (BC), I ran a large and successful City unit, with the help and backing of a brilliant team.

Then the crash happened.

Not the financial crash, the maternal crash – the one where you lose your self- belief along with your pre-children waist size!

Does anyone relate to this? Does it sound familiar, if so, how did we get to this place of self-destruction?

Well, follow me happy and allow me to tell you what return to work mother did next, it could be an eye opener for you; although I hope it will be more of a ‘I feel that too’ helping hand.

With additional musings on life, events, recommendations et al.... I’d love to have you on board for the journey.



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